Each day, we all face struggles. That deadline at work that keeps getting closer, the house cleaning that never seems to end, or the homework that seems to always be due. We can get so caught up in finishing everything that we forget to celebrate the little victories that get us there in the first place.
I love swimming. It gives me energy, helps me focus, and lets me decompress. I started just doing laps at the gym with no real goal, but soon I found myself setting out to swim a mile every other day. I did it the first time, but the next few times I got to 20 or 30 laps of the 65 that are in the mile. I figured maybe it was time to rethink my goal. I settled on half a mile, about 32 laps in the pool. I found this to be easier, but still I struggled finishing. I would get so focused on reaching 32 that I didn't allow myself any breaks in between, and when I needed a break, I felt guilty and like I had failed. This really damaged my ability to finish.
Over the laps, I started to realize something. I was putting expectations on myself that had no real reason for being there and that nobody was forcing me to fulfill, and then when I didn't meet them, I felt worthless. This sounds silly, but we all do it all of the time. So, I decided to take a step back to see what would actually work. The only real expectation I had for myself that actually mattered was that I would exercise. Because I am a person who likes structure, I figured the best way to do that was give myself a goal I knew I could reach, so I settled on half a mile. Now that I had a goal to work towards, and a way to measure how well I was doing, I needed to make sure I could keep going even when things got difficult. This is when I had my breakthrough.
I would always get upset with myself for taking breaks. I realized it wasn't the breaks that were upsetting me, it was the expectation of no breaks not being met that upset me. Then I realized I had no reason to expect myself not to take breaks. I decided I would give myself permission to take a break every five laps. Permission, not the expectation. If I got to the end of my five-lap section and still felt I had energy to keep going, I would keep going, but once I started that next five laps, I couldn't take a break until that section was finished.
I found as I used this five-lap system, more often than not I would skip the break I gave myself permission to take! If I finished the section and knew I could do one more without issue, I did it. If I felt like I might not be able to finish the next section, I had already given myself permission and took a break for a minute or two. I had more mental stamina because the goal suddenly didn't seem so far away. I wasn't focused on the 32nd lap so much, I was focused on finishing the next five laps. This made the goal so much more doable, and I had more energy to keep going.
Starting something is usually pretty easy. It's the finishing that gets tricky. Often, I find myself getting into the middle of something and start to lose the stamina I had started with. It's usually not the actual effort that gets me, it's the mental fatigue that seems the hardest to keep in check. I figure I'm probably not the only person out there who feels this. Giving ourselves permission to slow down and take a break makes all the difference in the world. Give it a try. I guarantee it will change your life for the better.
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